Important Feats for the Day by Mr. Perpetual Mess

1. Squishing the last half of the banana all over the table, kitchen counter and pajamas at breakfast.

2. Taking down the blinds on bedroom windows during “nap.”

3. Tipping over the child sized rocking chair in sister’s room and standing on it upside down to “jump into the river” of bedroom carpet.

4. Finding a bottle of herbicide in the bottom of a supposedly childproof box in the toolshed and watering the side of the house with it before Mom came running like a maniac and scrubbed down every spot of bare skin and insisted on a change of clothes

5. Identifying the letters of his name.

6. Spraying sister with the hose while she placidly munched on supper.

He’s lucky he was blessed with twinkling eyes and a mop of hair that curls in the humidity.