At the DMV

My driver’s license expired on my birthday, and I forgot about it in the craziness of December.  The Tuesday before Christmas I had a free morning, and I knew that I had better get to the driver’s license exam office to get a new license right away.  I was prepared for the worst.  I needed to take Mr. Trouble on Feet with me, I wasn’t sure if I would have to retake a written exam that I had not studied for, and the workers at the DMV are always grouchy.  They have been grouchy at every single place I’ve ever lived.  I was filled with a deep sense of dread as I drove to the other side of town.

When I got there, hardly anyone was in the office.  I filled out a form, walked up to the counter and explained to the lady behind it that my license had expired.  I apologized and told her how I simply forgot about it.  She cheerfully said, “Oh, that’s just fine.  It happens to practically everyone.  No problem at all.”  She gave me a big smile and quickly typed in the information into her computer.  She tested my eyes and said I did just fine.  She smiled and told me to step over to the other side of the office to take my picture in front of the large blue screen.

She explained that I should look at a pink dot, and I thought she said I would see a flashing light for about three seconds, but what she really meant, apparently, was that the picture would be taken and I’d see a flash in about three seconds.  I don’t know why I got confused, but I did, and right as the camera was about to snap, I suddenly needed to swallow, so I did.  In the process I did something weird with my chin, and the camera took the picture right at the wrong time when I had four double chins and my tongue was sticking out a little for some odd reason.  Really.  It was the WORST picture .

The cheerful DMV lady looked on the computer at my picture, raised one eyebrow, and looked at me in the eye.  “Cute picture!” she grinned (maybe gleefully?)  “Your new license will be arriving by mail  in 10 days.  Have a very Merry Christmas!” and that was that.  I was out the door.  In the car.  And I will have a horrible driver’s license photograph for the next four years.  Sigh.