Potty Training

Potty training has not been overly successful here. Despite Mr. Sneaky Pant’s initial obsession with bit boy underwear last summer, he really doesn’t see the importance of using the toilet. At all. We’ve tried rewards. We’ve tried persuasion. We’ve tried sticker charts, M&M’s and the promise of special, exciting prizes. Lately we have been trying to practice wearing underwear for a couple of hours each morning, but the time is punctuated by a lot of . . . well, trauma. You’d think we were beating the child to pieces instead of trying to gently coax him to sit on the potty. After a bit each morning we do get the hang of sitting on the potty and hearing a few good books, but we’ve never actually gotten anything to go INTO the potty, that I’m aware of, anyway.

I know that eventually he’ll make a decision that toilets the way to go. I’m not worried, just TIRED. But to break up the exhaustion there are these wonderful and entertaining conversations that go around my home:

Me: Noah, big boys use the potty.

Mr. Sneaky Pants: I’m not a big boy.

Me: Sure you are, honey. You’re three!

Mr. SP: (in an offhand manner). No, I not big. I still growing and growing.

Me: Well, when DO you think you will be big enough to use the potty?

Mr. SP: Oh, in a few years, Mom, maybe then.

********

Sarah: Noah! Do you have another yucky diaper?

Mr. SP: Hmmm. No. Well. Maybe.

Sarah: Mom! Noah has a bad diaper.

Me: Noah, would you like to go change that diaper?

Mr. SP: No.

Me: Come on, Noah, let’s go change that diaper. We need to get a new clean one.

Mr. SP: NO!

Me; Your bottom is going to be sore if you don’t change that diaper!

Mr. SP: Not now.

Five Minutes Later

Sarah: Ugh! Mom! You have got to change Noah’s diaper! I can’t breathe! I can’t stand this! Please!

Me: Noah, let’s go change your diaper.

Mr. SP: No. Not yet.

Sarah: (yelling) WHY DON’T YOU EVER WANT TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPER! YOU SMELL! THE WHOLE ROOM SMELLS! I CAN’T STAND THIS! IT IS SO DISGUSTING!

Noah: (matter of factly, in a most calm voice) Well, go somewhere else then.